The Weight of Being the “Reliable One”
Diego is a 37-year-old caretaker who works full-time supporting older adults with mobility issues. Outside of work, he’s the sibling everyone depends on. His mother often asks him to look in on his uncle, and his sister frequently needs him to step in when her childcare plans fall apart. Diego never complains; being dependable feels like part of his identity.
But during the past month, he’s been feeling stretched thin. At work, one of his clients recently fell, and even though it wasn’t his fault, he keeps replaying the moment in his mind. At home, he’s been quietly skipping his evening hobbies because he’s too drained. A friend told him he seems distracted, but Diego brushed it off, joking that he’s “burning the candle at both ends.”
Yesterday, he received a message asking if he could cover another caretaker’s overnight shift. He almost said yes automatically, but something made him pause. He’s beginning to sense a shift — a feeling that he’s giving away all his time, and the small pieces left don’t feel like enough. He’s unsure whether this is temporary or something deeper that he needs to address.
THOUGHT-PROVOKING QUESTIONS
What do you notice about Diego’s sense of identity and how it shapes his choices?
How should someone decide how much of themselves to give to others?
What signs tell you it’s time to create space for your own needs?
